Socially Accepted: A Self-Help book for the Socially Awkward

Before you begin your journey, you need to make sure you are prepared. You need to have an open mind to everything you are about to read, and you must believe that this book will change your life. You need to force yourself to want this change, for today is the first day of the rest of your life. Today is the day where you begin your journey; the journey to become the best you possible. Everyday you need to believe that you are capable of being your best self. You need to ignore what people think and don’t let their judgments affect how you live your life. You live your life to the fullest, and the first thing you need to do in order to maximize your living is to be the best you possible.

It’s Time for a Change

When I first finished this book I had a couple friends read it and give me feedback. They all said the same thing. It was great! I’m so proud of you! Congratulations! None of it was real let’s be honest they were bias. So I went and got complete strangers to give me feedback. They all told me the same thing… I started off way to strong. First I want to explain my journey of transformation so that you can understand that becoming Socially Accepted is possible for anyone.

I would be lying if I told you that high school was tough for me because it wasn’t. It was actually really fun. Going to school everyday, hanging out with my friends, playing on my phone half the time, and sleeping through the boring classes who can complain? Although when school was over that’s when the true me came out.

I was hooked on video games since as long as I could remember. I saw my character in World of Warcraft more than I actually saw my dad. I would stay up all night playing video games and go to sleep all day during school. Then came my junior year where it all changed. My father left this world. After that I really stopped playing video games all together and started living life a lot more. For the first 18 years of my life my name was Joe Castellon. My father’s name was Casanova and my mother’s was Soberon. They combined them and we were the Castellon family until he passed. After that the whole family changed it to Casanova.

So as I’m graduating high school and going to college I have no entered a new social circle, gave up video games, and become Joe Casanova. When I turned 20 I started working in nightclubs. Everyday I was working, interacting, networking, building friendships, and shaking hands. I went from an anti-social computer nerd to a Miami socialite. Through my journey of getting to where I am now I picked up a few tricks on the way. It all started with a documentary called the Secret that taught me all about the Law of Attraction.

The Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction, also known as the Secret, can and will change your life, as long as you are open to it. Have you ever noticed those days where thesecond you wake up something goes wrong and for the rest of the day it seems you just can’t catch a break? In that same day you were late for work or school, and for some reason you hit every red light on the way there. You may think that these are all forces out of your control, but the truth is that you attracted all of it. The Law of Attraction is a belief that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts one can manifest those positive and negative thoughts into reality.

At times in your life, you may sit and reflect on the negative. Why do my coworkers not like me? Why can’t I find a decent person to date? Why do my friends keep selling me out? You keep asking yourself these questions, but the sad truth is that these questions come with negative baggage. Negative thoughts bring out negative results. Throughout your life, you have encountered some form of the Law of Attraction. For example, have you ever seen or used a vision board? The creation of a Vision board is a process by which you cut out pictures of the things you want and put them on a board. The vision board helps with visualization.

I actually have mine hung on the wall in front of my bed so that it’s the first thing I see every morning. It brings out positive thoughts, which can lead to positive results. Remember, like attracts like. If you are at home staring at a mountain full of debt thinking to yourself, “I will never pay this off,” then guess what? You will never pay it off. Whenever you’re out and have the intention of meeting someone but the whole time believe they’re going to reject you, chances are they will.

The moment you understand the Law of Attraction is the moment you can use it to your advantage. The moment you accept that everything bad that has happened in your life is actually your fault is the moment you can change it. If you think angry thoughts, you will attract events and circumstances that will make you feel more anger. The same works with positivity. If you have positive thoughts and emotions you will attract positive results. Ultimately, this works off of our thoughts and emotions. It is said that we have over 50,000 thoughts a day. So you are probably thinking that it’s impossible to make all of those thoughts positive. We don’t need to make all our thoughts positive; we just need to spend more time focusing on the positive ones.

It has been said that for the Law of Attraction to work you need to ask the universe for what ever it is you want. Then, when you ask for it, you must believe you have already obtained it. You must live your life in a positive manner, as if you just got that new car, even though all you’ve done is put the thought out to the universe. You must honestly believe it and feel the happinessthat comes with actually having it before you have it. By radiating the positive thoughts and emotions you will eventually attract them to your life. From personal experience, I have learned that the Law of Attraction works best when used with the Law of Detachment. Once you ask, you must then believe; once you believe, then you must let go.

Now, you are probably wondering what does all this have to do with being Socially Accepted? Well, this actually has everything to do with being Socially Accepted. The way to create this change in your life is to actually believe that change is going to happen. Focus on the positive parts and they will manifest before your eyes. Visualize yourself controlling a room and being the life of the party. Imagine yourself talking to the person of your dreams or how it would be to go out for drinks with your coworkers after work. You are in control of your universe, as well as what gets brought into it. Master positive thinking. Cut out all negative thoughts and visualize your life how you want it to be. Remember these 3 words: ask, believe, and receive.

Not everybody knows how to be social or how to hold a conversation long enough and without embarrassing themselves but that’s why you have us! At first, it started as a self-help book on how to talk to women but then I realized it could be applied to all conversations as a means to win friends and influence people.

In being a successful conversationalist, which is the key to being social, one must have the following traits:
1. Patience
2. Persistence
3. Confidently initiating conversation with stangers
4. Knowing how to talk to someone and build rapport
5. Staying humble
6. Pleasant presence
7. Kindness
8. Uniqueness
9. Comedic presence

Some of these you either have or you don’t, but some can be taught and understood over time. With time and practice, you can learn to master these concepts and leave everyone around you wanting more.

Be your Best Self

Anyone who has ever said to just be yourself does not give great advice. They know what to say, but they just don’t know how to say it. You don’t want to be yourself; you want to be your best self. You know those days that you just feel on top of the world and everything is going perfect, that nothing can bring you down? You want to be in that mood. If you feel on top of the world, the people you are  talking to will want to join you.

In order to be your best self, you need to master the techniques in this book along with your everydaytraits and obstacles. For example, are you over weight or have bad breath? Fix that! Be the best version of yourself that you can possibly be! Are you wearing sweat pants and a tank top out to lunch? Come on now, you know better than that. Do some research: go on a nice shopping spree; try to better your look. Do you slouch when at the dinner table or even chew with your mouth open? “You gon’ learn today!” Sit up straight, keep eye contact, and most importantly do not speak when there is food in your mouth!

Every day, besides the short and long-term goals that you are striving to complete, you should be working on yourself. When the moment comes where you have to put it to the test, just remember that this is what you have been training for. Be the best you that you can be! Confident, happy, and fearless. There is nothing that is going to bring you down because from this day on, you’re unstoppable!

You need a skill or a hobby

Every person in this world should strive to reach his or her full potential. Perhaps it’s being the best at your favorite sport, or being in the peak of your physical shape. Being rich and attractive isn’t going to cut it anymore. It’s 2014, people write and speak 5 different languages while playing 6 different musical instruments. Why? Nowadays, we are so accessible to tutorials and information that we can teach ourselves just about anything. 1Stumbleupon is a great tool to learn and master almost anything. You can learn skills from jump-starting a car to how to fix a water heater. Being handy coincides with being street smart.

There is nothing sexier in this world than being intelligent. Perfect your hobbies from sports, exercise, art, design, building things, labor, languages, music, or just about anything you can imagine! Whatever it is that brings you excitement, try your best to perfect it. It is said when you have invested 10,000 hours into something you are a professional in that field. The beauty behind having a skill or hobby arises in the moment when you reveal it to everyone. I can play piano, but I never tell anyone that. So, when that moment comes and I jump on the piano, it catches everyone off guard. In that moment, it is difficult not to impress those you caught by surprise.

Revealing a skill or hobby that you put a substantial bit of time and effort into feels amazing, especially when it’s done nonchalantly. Another amazing feeling is teaching, especially when you’re teaching something that is mutually interesting. The point I’m getting at is that you want to be cultured. From knowing about genocide in Africa to Brazilian coffee is useful, especially when it is brought up at the right time; it can go a long way. Read up on current events and the world news. When the moment comes, that someone brings up a topic that they believe no one knows about, then you jump in and share what you know about it. The information you gave them was relevant, intellectual, and makes you a part of the moment.

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